I love my DJ - Again!

Mary at Toast & Jam really came through and hooked us up with another, actually AVAILABLE, DJ, so we're now lucky enough to have Leslie doing our do just right.

This weekend, I slipped trying to plan our ceremony music in between spurts of work.

So far, this is what we have...

During Guest Seating

True Romance

Somehwere Over the Rainbow

I'm Yours

Groom and Groomsmen Arrival

The Luckiest (just beginning to end of first chorus)

Seating of the Mothers & Grandmothers

Can't Help Falling in Love (Ingrid Michaelson's Version)

Processional (Girls and Me)

Stacey and a pianist playing this version of Canon in D (but hopefully, better than these two play it!)

Recessional

PM Love Theme (from about 30 seconds through the end)

Still completely stuck on an introduction song, cake cutting and first dance.

Hair and Makeup Mayhem

Well - I had my (first) hair and makeup trial the morning of my shower. I was very worried that I'd end up with raccoon eyes (because whenever I wear eye makeup, I do) and for good reason because within 30 minutes, I felt like everything underneath my eye was all over the place.

One of the reasons I rarely wear makeup (in addition to laziness) is that my left eye and socket were badly damaged about 13 years ago and my eyes are now very uneven. Also, I blink too hard! I can't help it, my eyes just go all wonky. Because it gets worse when I'm tired and/or tipsy, some friends even call me Blinky. I seem to have mastered my own rare, subtle makeup application so that I don't think it's very noticeable. However, in both instances of the professional application, it's all I can focus on, and when I see it, even though I realize it's not that bad, it brings up lots of bad feelings because of how it got damaged in the first place. I know you are supposed to make your eyes pop, but it's driving me crazy that I'm picking up on this flaw in pics and it's something I'd rather not call attention to when every moment is being captured on film.

Anyway... I know better than to wear anything on the bottoms and rarely wear anything on the top other than some light shadow. Going into the trial, I knew this was going to be an issue, but was ASSURED, no, convinced that it was not about to happen this time or with this brand of makeup or with this expert's professional application. Well, it did, so 10 minutes before my shower I found myself worked up to tears (not helping the cause really) that my eyes had huge dark circles under them and the wiping was not helping the saggy/wrinkly appearance at all. Now, if you ask my future sister-in-law, she'll say it was fine. If you ask my fiance, he'll say "you look pretty, but sort of like you were punched in the face."

I loved the airbrush makeup application and felt like there was enough coverage, without being cakey (another pet peeve of mine). The first pic below is moments after it was completed and the 2nd one, later that afternoon. The makeup artist was right, it did get better with time and probably does look much better in pictures than it does when you're staring at a mirror 3 inches away and criticizing every single thing. I also really enjoyed the company of Mia - she did my hair as well and although I'm second guessing the style, think what she did looked very nice.

However, my dilemma is that I made so many calls and sent so many emails to inquire about availability, that I think I mixed up the girl I really wanted to try - who did lashes - with Mia. So, I ended up being shocked to find out she doesn't do them. Sooooo, as chance would have it, a makeup artist who'd actually been booked for my date emailed this week and said she was now available. I thought it wouldn't hurt to do another quickie, no pressure trial - with lashes to see the difference. Wouldn't you know it, I liked the eyes a lot (and am definitely going to go with lashes over Mascara), BUT, my face looked horrible! It was almost as if she took on the task of TRYING to make me look 15 years older (by the way though, don't EVER say that to someone who just spent an hour putting makeup on you - THAT didn't go over well).

I think there were a few reasons for the problems.

1. Horribly crazy, busy week at work that led to less than stellar personal/facial care.


2. I'd JUST come from the gym and didn't put on any moisturizer.


3. She went powder crazy.

So, the first two, I know I can remedy. The 3rd caused some sharply toned words to be exchanged between the two of us as she explained that she HAS to apply that much powder because her makeup application lasts for 12 hours or more and I responded that I cared more about the first 3 hours than the last 9. She told me, "well, makeup isn't magic, it can't hide that you're getting a little older, wrinkles just happen to the skin" and I told her, "Oh really? Well, I've been looking at my face for the past 35 years, including after my last trial AND this morning and have never seen it look like this, so it seems like a very inopportune time for it to decide to wrinkle right now."

Even after this exchange, I gave her the benefit of the doubt that it would get better as my natural oils mixed with the makeup. It did not, but man oh man, my eyes stayed perfect all day and night! I honestly think the wrinkly grossness was more my skin's fault than hers. Not to mention that she could clearly skip the powder step and I'd probably be as happy as can be.

A quick, not inexpensive trip to Ulta was a step in the right direction and my skin is well on it's way to being radiant. If you're interested, my self-prescribed cure (and a proven one at that) is MD Skincare Alpha Beta Daily Face Peel in the individually wrapped packets. It's truly magic. I use them for 30 days once every 6 months or so (except this year since we've been saving for the wedding) and love every second. I've also given them to friends as presents, much to their immediate pleasure and then disappointment when they are hooked, but don't feel like adding an extra $80 into their beauty regimine for the rest of their lives...

Okay, so here are the pics.

First Trial - Eyes (Just After Being Done)



1st Trial - Full, Fake Sexy Face



Shiny Hair!



2nd Trial - Hard to Compare This Crappy Pic With the Other, But Trust Me, Dry/Saggy Vs. Fresh and Dewy. I obviously still have wrinkles in both, but they were just really accentuated here.

Let the Peacock begin!

So, I wasn't going to officially say I was having a theme for the wedding, but I did know I wanted cobalt blue, emerald green and turquoise as my colors (since they have always been my colors, this was a pretty easy decision). Once I started looking for inspiration for these colors, lots of peacock stuff comes up and I definitely came around to the idea of trying to incorporate them pretty quickly (without being too "arts and crafty" as my potential florist said).

As mentioned, Janell is wearing a dress of mine that I've had since 2001 that has been worn by quite a few people (all of whom will be at the wedding). It's the blue of my tremendous trio of colors.

Stacey will be in green, Jenn will be in turquoise and Theresa will be in something along the same lines. My whole directive to them was to find a dress that they loved and felt they looked great in that happened to fall within the color palette of shades of blue and green. Now, it will be my job to find a pretty little necklace to go with each of the dresses that they pick out. I'm really not concerned with the dresses being similar in fabric, style, or length.

Then came the invites... This one was easy as can be (from RockPaperSizzle on Etsy, of course). The pics below aren't mine exactly, the designer is modifying the colors to match mine a little better, but my favorite part is the wrap around label for the envelope! I was so nervous about invites because for someone who is watching every penny like a hawk, I found my taste in invites to be WAY beyond my budget. I came across RockPaperSizzle by searching for peacock stuff on Etsy, so wowza to find out she is actually within my budget!

I'm thinking a peacock feather in my hair and/or in Adam's boutonniere and that oughta do it. But check in in another week or two and we better hope I don't rent a peacock to walk me down the aisle!

It sure is easy to forget to post!

Let's see, it's been a week. And what a week it's been. As usual, more work stuff than wedding stuff, but I did make some progress.

1. I bought a new dress! I found it when Janell was here for the weekend, but it didn't fit just right, so I made an appointment with the store's seamstress to see what she thought she could do. Lucky for me (unlucky for my wallet), I brought two of my best friends. I brought in my current dress and tried that one first. Definitely got some compliments (it DOES do great things for my waist), and I think they genuinely liked it. But man oh man, it was the neatest thing to put the potential new one on and when they didn't realize that I could see them in the mirror, I caught them making an "ohhhhhhh" face at each other. You know, the "ohhhhh, that's the dress!" face. That felt awesome.
   
2. Jenn finally got to meet Adam! She lives in Kansas right now and twice when she's visited, he's been out of town! I've repeatedly told Adam I wouldn't marry him without her approval (luckily, there was no doubt in my mind he wouldn't get it). But I do think we were cutting it pretty close. It was such an enjoyable night for me to chat with Jenn and Theresa and the fact that they got to see how happy I am makes me even MORE happy.
3. Our block of rooms at The Wit was set up and people started booking. There was a little glitch at first, but it's all worked out now. Even better? My future mother and sister in law are in town for my shower this weekend and while I was at work today, they took a stroll to The Wit and checked out the rooms (yay! they waited for me to take them tomorrow to show them the Roof!). I didn't think they would let them into the rooms or anything. Not only did they let them in, but they worked with them to find the exact configuration they wanted - a 2-room suite adjoined with a regular king deluxe so that the baby has somewhere to sleep, but grandparents are close too! I was nervous about people thinking it was going to be annoying to be so close to the train, but they said they were there for over 30 minutes (in a few different rooms) and never heard it once. Plus, the fact that everyone was so friendly (from the doorman to the person helping them with the rooms to the manager!) that it made them feel so comfortable. That's another reason why I felt like it was the right place. I think I mentioned before that I loved that it had the view and the style to be shi-shi, but the attitude of a family-run place that feels much more intimate than it is.
4. I finally ordered our invitations. Can't wait to post pics! I mentioned that I wasn't sure what the labels would look like on a cobalt blue metallic envelope and the designer made the cutest little wrap around label so the front has the recipient's address and then it wraps around to seal the back with our names on it. Adorable if I do say so myself!
5. We got a new DJ. I was so annoyed when the original one bailed on us, but Mary, at Toast and Jam didn't leave me hanging and found someone new! I hope she's got the endurance to make it through the wedding she has that night after our rocking daytime wedding!
6. Tomorrow morning (well, technically, this morning), I'm getting my hair and makeup trial. I'm nervous about it because I really have no preconcieved notion of what I hope to look like or what I want to do with my hair or anything. Again, perhaps I will post a pic or two to get some advice. The best part (as long as I like it!) is that my shower is in the afternoon, so I get to look pretty for it! NOW, I just need something to wear. It's going to be quite a morning.
7. I can't wait for my shower. I'm so excited Jenn and Theresa pulled something so nice together so quickly, especially with everything they have going on in their own lives right now! It means so much to me to have friends I've been close to for so long with me through this exciting time. I wish I could be geographically close to more of the people who mean so much to me more often, but one of my favorite parts of planning the wedding is how much more frequently we've been chatting - even if it is something simple.
   

It's been so nice to have my future in laws here. Adam's parents are just good people. And the fact that they made two great boys? One for me and one that attracted the sweetest wife to become my sister-in-law? That's just icing on the cake!

Speaking of cake... Portillo's chocolate cake and Sweet Mandy B's cake tomorrow. How does one choose?

I feel like a kid on Christmas. But I never got a brand new stand mixer on Christmas! I better go to bed so I can wake up!

I take it back, I don't like my DJ (or should I say non-DJ)

Just when I thought I made it through the week without a meltdown, I received an email from the Toast and Jam DJ, Tevis, that was "assigned" to us saying pretty much "oops. can't do your wedding." Obviously, we have no ground to stand on, but are left having wasted time meeting with and discussing our plans with someone who wasn't even available and took another week to tell us so. Not to mention that I turned down about 3 potential DJs who were less expensive than Tevis - and now they are all booked.

Great weekend with Janell!

Janell, my lovely maid of honor, was here this weekend and among other things, we were supposed to find her a dress to wear for the wedding. Well, technically, we did - it's one of my favorite dresses ever! It was purchased in 2001 for the amazing price of $63. It has since been worn three times by me, by Erika, by Jackie and by Bianca. Best part? You'd think it was brand new.

So, we checked that off the list pretty early, leaving me with a willing and able partner to take a quick trip down to White Chicago to see if they got any new dresses in that would be more city rooftop wedding appropriate than the one I bought on my birthday. What do you know? They DID! So, now, I'm faced with the difficult decision of whether or not to become a two-dress bride and work on selling that first one to a good home...

The best way to ponder that choice?


Over cocktails, of course! And what better venue than ROOF, at The Wit. It was great to get back and see it on our own, without all the dreamy wonder of the first time. But guess what? The dreaminess is still there - and it was even gross outside.

When we first arrived, it was too busy, but there was a decent crown inside and outside. As the night went on, it filled right up. Our server was very friendly and attentive the entire night - thanks Brooke - and we got to try quite a few of the yummy specialty cocktails on the menu. A few too many, some might say from looking at our pictures from the rest of the night...

We also had these mini Chicken Parmesan sliders, mmm, mmm good. Quite a few of the items on the menu sounded good (perhaps a little more adventurous than I'm used to) and I had my eye on everything other servers were walking by; however, we'd eaten a late lunch, so we didn't get anything else. In general, I love the small plate concept because I can never make up my mind. I'm the one who is always bugging you to order something I like so I can share. I also loved the way they displayed their menus on the tables. We've been trying to think of something interesting to do on our tables for the wedding even though we're not doing assigned seating and seeing their little brushed chrome menu holders made me want to put a quiz or thank yous or something in there for our big day.

Afterward, we wandered to the Bean and took some goofy pics - but also a really neat one of Adam and I kissing in front of it with the city mirrored in the background. Thanks Janell, couldn't have paid for a better pic!

The rest of the weekend though, not so productive. Well, wait a second, I take that back! On Saturday afternoon, we had our first meeting with our D.J. and all 3 of us loved her. Meeting her put me at ease over worrying whether people would dance and have a blast or not. I get the feeling that Tevis (from Toast & Jam) won't let that happen. She made me think a lot about all of the things I still haven't thought through yet, but it was good to get the juices flowing!

Janell gets here today!

Yay! My maid of honor will be here this weekend and I'm so excited! Mostly to show someone else the Roof at The Wit, but also because it will make having picked "my colors" official if we can find her an awesome dress! Speaking of dresses, this will be the first time that I'll be able to actually try on my dress from preownedweddingdresses.com - it's a lace up back, so I think Janell will have to put her back into it and tie me up tight. We're also meeting with our D.J. and florist, so it's official - we're doing this thing!

Lots of exclamation points there, perhaps it's because stepping on the scale today showed some good results! It's so weird that I've known for awhile that we'd be getting married this year, but nothing seemed to motivate me to actually pay attention to my weight. Ever since the "Great Reset" - I'm all about veggies and cut out the Diet soda too. Yesterday, I even THOUGHT about going to the gym! Baby steps...

I Suppose I Should Come Up With Something To Say

I could go on and on about The Wit Hotel, or the way I can tell in my voice and pep in my step how much more excited I am about our reception (and others, who don't even know about the change can tell too). I'm going again this weekend with my MOH when she flies in from LA and then very likely again when my future mother-in-law and sister-in-law are in town for our shower.  It's one of those things I don't think I could get sick of. Like my fiance, or Taco Bell, or this version of Can't Help Falling In Love. But I have a voice beyond that, I'm forming opinions about this process that I'd love to share with others, especially Chicago brides, to either get advice, give advice - or better yet make some changes to the way this planning process works. So, if I want that voice to be heard, to become a part of a community that excitedly welcomes new members, I need to make people want to listen.

I'm surprised at how hard it is to find REAL pics of REAL girls in REAL dresses. No more of this waif chick in some sort of weird sucking-in-shrugging-with-your-hands-on-your-hips position! Show me someone who looks like they'd actually fit in the sample size (or, gasp, something BIGGER, like me)! Maybe that'll be my new hobby,  finding pics of girls of all sizes in all types of dresses dancing with their fathers or new spouses or walking down that aisle. In real settings, in real lighting, the real moments that make every bride, and her dress, so beautiful. 

Maybe I'm fixated on this because I'll probably end up wearing a used dress at my wedding, or maybe because I'm bigger than the sample size. Seeing the photo on the model or hanging from a closet door isn't really doing me much good. And I'm too darn busy during the hours that salons are open to go in and try on a boatload of dresses (that wouldn't come close to zipping up anyway). Every time I google a question about wedding etiquette or ideas, etc., I come up with a million forums or blogs of brides sharing tips about almost every aspect of their wedding, but when it comes to dresses, I don't find that many real pics or real reviews of the dresses fit, feel, flow, etc. Perhaps it's because it's such a special thing for a bride to have a unique dress, so whereas you're happy to share a cute DIY cupcake tower you made with the world, you want the dress to be sacred. 

So many people crop their photos (or put creepy white boxes where their faces should be) on used dress sites. Are they embarrassed to be selling their dress? Worried someone they know might see them? Both viable options, I suppose. But hey, I'm the poor sap shopping for a used dress - at least you had the money to pay full price for it new! For so many of us, we want to share everything we love about our weddings from the rooftop in order to help others, and in most cases, I've found that we're not too shy to be pretty darn proud of these things when we're discussing with people. I say, let's extend that pride to our dresses and share the info. The same way you would about a Restaurant on Yelp. The people want to know how awesome your dress was - and maybe even why sometimes it wasn't that great.

What is awesome worth to you?

For everyone who has had to bear with me as I worry and wonder and wreak havoc on my budget, thank you. I realize it must be painful to hear me whine incessantly with an ever-wavering mindset ranging from eloping to having an inexpensive picnic to a destination wedding. At Christmas? No, October? No, August! It's not like you have anything going on in your own lives that could possibly be more important than me finally giving you the okay to buy your tickets, right?

I can also see how hard it's been to provide support and advice when I'm a crumpled mess from making so many decisions at work all day that I just want you to tell me what to do. Especially since one minute I'll say I don't want to spend more than $X and the next minute I'm googling String Quartets... So, to all those who talked me off the edge at some point or another throughout the last few months, I really do appreciate it - if it makes you feel any better, YOU are the ones I'm most excited to share this with. To be honest, that's what makes some of these decisions like budget and venue and timing so hard for me to make on my own. It's such a tricky balance between what I want, what I think those I'm closest to would like (or appreciate since so many of you are coming from out of town), and what I think the peripheral folks expect.

I've been struggling a lot because I wanted to make sure our wedding was unique and had personality. Most people who know me would say I've got plenty of "personality" to go around, but it's been surprisingly difficult for me to determine what the essence of Adam and I is. Since most of "my" guests have only met Adam once, it is very important for me to make sure we create an atmosphere that, amid all the hooplah, retains as much of the spirit of he and I together as possible. Yet, even though that was my mission (as well as: NO windowless banquet rooms with hideous carpet), I still found myself trying to please everyone else with each decision. One second I'm proclaiming, "You won't find me giving a crap about napkin colors!" or rambling on about how I just can't see myself spending money on a bunch of flowers that will just die or 100 hurricane candles that will get dusty in my garage and the next I'd be agonizing over not having the cash for nicer chairs. But I really didn't want to get caught up in those types things mattering to us to make our event special for all of you.

We'd come to the conclusion pretty early on that we were going to end up spending more than we originally hoped. And that was okay. Mostly because my naive guess at what would be appropriate to spend to get the types of things I wanted. But every line item on the budget that I had to add or modify (usually up), I did so very begrudgingly. Unfortunately, I started to look at planning as a chore instead of having fun with it. Before spending a dollar, I'd think about how else I'd want to spend that dollar -- what could it do for us, for me, for our future? 

Then, when the "Great Reset of Memorial Day Weekend" came upon us and there was talk of eloping or surprising people at the shower, I was all but ready to give up even the most basic things I said I wanted (that ONE photo of the man looking at me with so much love captured at just the right moment OR to have everyone hear the lyrics of a song that once defined my search for a soulmate in the quiet just before the ceremony). One would THINK if that all this spending and planning was wearing me down to this point of despair and stress, my reset would have ended with the OBVIOUS conclusion that we should just call it off and do something privately. But, I suppose if you know me at all, you wouldn't expect normal, right? So, to me, it makes perfect sense that my solution to spending too much money for something I didn't feel was "me" or fun and easy for all of you was to... spend just a little more money to make it WOW.

It's hard to make a decision like this when every day you're faced with economic woes and hardship that your friends and family are being hit with. That's why to me, making sure I spend on what's most important to me (vibe, comfort and awesome food) and not the things that aren't (pink/blue gel lighting to make a beige ballroom seem vibrant). I'll have to see how well I keep to this rule as I actually start knocking things off my list, but I'm telling you, if WORST came to WORST, I don't think anybody would even notice if there wasn't a single flower with a venue this naturally gorgeous. 

It's funny that for all my stressing, I haven't even thought about what would happen if it rains...

Shouldn't I Be Asleep?

The hard part is done, isn't it? I should be dreaming sweet dreams of not having to limit our guest list so dramatically, or, gasp, just getting some rest for once and not being stressed out. But alas, now it feels real, and I feel behind. My goal is to catch up on the planning this weekend when Janell is here, but since the current plan is for her to take the train from Midway, get off at Lake Street and join me for drinks on the roof of the new venue, I have a feeling Saturday morning isn't going to be an early one.

Not to mention, that the list of things to do with Janell is actually comprised of things I WANT to do, not necessarily need to do. I can't tell you how excited I am to actually go into the stores on Division and up Damen and actually have good intentions of buying something! Through Janell's tall, perfect body, I plan to live vicariously as she tries on every possible frock at Le Dress and Intermix (probably before heading to Nordstrom and finding something affordable).

For me, wedding dress shopping was not as enjoyable as it should have (or even could have) been. For one, I waited too long. So each store I went into, the women had more and more dramatic looks on their faces as they parroted back to me with shock, awe and disgust, "August? Of THIS year?" Yeah, yeah, yeah, ever heard of a rush fee? Just bring me some dresses. Or do you really not want my money? Some places, they actually said no, they didn't want my money because there was no way they could get a dress in 4 months. Secondarily, for someone who knew engagement was impending for a few months, you'd think I could have made just the slightest effort to go to the gym, even WALK BY the gym? But no, instead, I fill my time seeing how fast Jimmy John's can get to my house or unable to decide which lunch option I should choose and ending up with both.

So, after one semi-successful day trying on all sorts of wedding dresses at All About the Dress (owned by an old friend from my restaurant days who admitted my timing would be tough, but who I trusted implicitly that we'd pull it off), I came to the conclusion that a lace up back was the way to go to really strap me in there and pull off a waist. Unable to settle on exactly which one, I, of course, procrastinated beyond the point of being able to get it in time. Luckily, I was not AT ALL opposed to buying a pre-owned dress and spent plenty of hours scouring www.encorebridal.com, www.preownedweddingdresses.com, www.oncewed.com for styles I liked. It's amazing how many dresses are out there for sale - and some are an amazing deal. On the flipside though, I'm also amazed at how many dresses there are that have been worn and are still on the market for over $3000!

Other than the fact that I actually found a pre-owned, but never worn (2 dress bride) gown that I now have in my hot little hands, I did get a kick out of a few other things about searching for a dress this way.

1. People say things like "only worn once." I do realize that they could be trying to differentiate from that gown that has been passed around to 3 sisters or something, but the idea that a dress basically invented to only be worn once should be considered as valuable as it was when the bride bought it the first time because she happened to only have worn it on one 8-10 hour day where she ate, drank, sweat, danced and dragged it all over the floor amuses me.
2. As a selling point, these girl's mention, "Everyone told me it was the most gorgeous gown they've ever seen." Hmmmm, I'm sure your dress is fabulously beautiful to you and to your family and maybe even to some other folks. And I'm sure you looked close to the most beautiful you may ever look in your life (hopefully because you were glowing with happiness), but ladies... does becoming a bride actually make you impervious to the fact that people are going to be polite and compliment you on an item that you hand selected for this special event, perhaps at the expense of 100% honesty? Have you EVER told someone their dress was pretty, when it just wasn't? Or that the chicken with white sauce you tried to eat, but realized your efforts were better focused on the table wine, was the best meal you've ever had? I'm not saying it's wrong to make those statements OR, really that it's wrong to believe them if it makes you feel better. I just don't think that it serves as the most valid testimonial when trying to sell me a $2000 dress that has "some light staining in the armpit area and a few missing buttons."

Anyway, the point of this post wasn't to bash on other happy brides trying to unload their poofy dresses. It was to comment on the fact that as soon as we decided to change venues from Mrs. Murphy & Sons Irish Bistro to The Wit Hotel, the ONE thing I'd actually checked off my list on time (getting a dress) is now up in the air because now that I have the perfect venue, settling for something 50% off that fit? Well, it just won't do.

Nothing against Maggie Sottero, I love the way my under-exercised body looks in the dress hanging from my closet door, but doesn't anyone want to sell one of these tea-length wedding dresses? I KNOW I can't afford a new one, but I'm in the mood for somebody's sloppy seconds when it comes to Stephanie James' dresses.