It's actually coming together!

All 3 of my girls have dresses now. Yay. Now, I have 1.5 weeks left to get jewelry for them that helps tie 3 random dresses together (not to mention for MYSELF)! Any suggestions?

The winners are...

Maid of Honor - My Favorite Dress Ever (circa 2001 Kay Unger!)

Reader - Turquoise Suzi Chin Dress

Violinist - Green Anne Klein Dress

It sure is easy to forget to post!

Let's see, it's been a week. And what a week it's been. As usual, more work stuff than wedding stuff, but I did make some progress.

1. I bought a new dress! I found it when Janell was here for the weekend, but it didn't fit just right, so I made an appointment with the store's seamstress to see what she thought she could do. Lucky for me (unlucky for my wallet), I brought two of my best friends. I brought in my current dress and tried that one first. Definitely got some compliments (it DOES do great things for my waist), and I think they genuinely liked it. But man oh man, it was the neatest thing to put the potential new one on and when they didn't realize that I could see them in the mirror, I caught them making an "ohhhhhhh" face at each other. You know, the "ohhhhh, that's the dress!" face. That felt awesome.
   
2. Jenn finally got to meet Adam! She lives in Kansas right now and twice when she's visited, he's been out of town! I've repeatedly told Adam I wouldn't marry him without her approval (luckily, there was no doubt in my mind he wouldn't get it). But I do think we were cutting it pretty close. It was such an enjoyable night for me to chat with Jenn and Theresa and the fact that they got to see how happy I am makes me even MORE happy.
3. Our block of rooms at The Wit was set up and people started booking. There was a little glitch at first, but it's all worked out now. Even better? My future mother and sister in law are in town for my shower this weekend and while I was at work today, they took a stroll to The Wit and checked out the rooms (yay! they waited for me to take them tomorrow to show them the Roof!). I didn't think they would let them into the rooms or anything. Not only did they let them in, but they worked with them to find the exact configuration they wanted - a 2-room suite adjoined with a regular king deluxe so that the baby has somewhere to sleep, but grandparents are close too! I was nervous about people thinking it was going to be annoying to be so close to the train, but they said they were there for over 30 minutes (in a few different rooms) and never heard it once. Plus, the fact that everyone was so friendly (from the doorman to the person helping them with the rooms to the manager!) that it made them feel so comfortable. That's another reason why I felt like it was the right place. I think I mentioned before that I loved that it had the view and the style to be shi-shi, but the attitude of a family-run place that feels much more intimate than it is.
4. I finally ordered our invitations. Can't wait to post pics! I mentioned that I wasn't sure what the labels would look like on a cobalt blue metallic envelope and the designer made the cutest little wrap around label so the front has the recipient's address and then it wraps around to seal the back with our names on it. Adorable if I do say so myself!
5. We got a new DJ. I was so annoyed when the original one bailed on us, but Mary, at Toast and Jam didn't leave me hanging and found someone new! I hope she's got the endurance to make it through the wedding she has that night after our rocking daytime wedding!
6. Tomorrow morning (well, technically, this morning), I'm getting my hair and makeup trial. I'm nervous about it because I really have no preconcieved notion of what I hope to look like or what I want to do with my hair or anything. Again, perhaps I will post a pic or two to get some advice. The best part (as long as I like it!) is that my shower is in the afternoon, so I get to look pretty for it! NOW, I just need something to wear. It's going to be quite a morning.
7. I can't wait for my shower. I'm so excited Jenn and Theresa pulled something so nice together so quickly, especially with everything they have going on in their own lives right now! It means so much to me to have friends I've been close to for so long with me through this exciting time. I wish I could be geographically close to more of the people who mean so much to me more often, but one of my favorite parts of planning the wedding is how much more frequently we've been chatting - even if it is something simple.
   

It's been so nice to have my future in laws here. Adam's parents are just good people. And the fact that they made two great boys? One for me and one that attracted the sweetest wife to become my sister-in-law? That's just icing on the cake!

Speaking of cake... Portillo's chocolate cake and Sweet Mandy B's cake tomorrow. How does one choose?

I feel like a kid on Christmas. But I never got a brand new stand mixer on Christmas! I better go to bed so I can wake up!

Great weekend with Janell!

Janell, my lovely maid of honor, was here this weekend and among other things, we were supposed to find her a dress to wear for the wedding. Well, technically, we did - it's one of my favorite dresses ever! It was purchased in 2001 for the amazing price of $63. It has since been worn three times by me, by Erika, by Jackie and by Bianca. Best part? You'd think it was brand new.

So, we checked that off the list pretty early, leaving me with a willing and able partner to take a quick trip down to White Chicago to see if they got any new dresses in that would be more city rooftop wedding appropriate than the one I bought on my birthday. What do you know? They DID! So, now, I'm faced with the difficult decision of whether or not to become a two-dress bride and work on selling that first one to a good home...

The best way to ponder that choice?


Over cocktails, of course! And what better venue than ROOF, at The Wit. It was great to get back and see it on our own, without all the dreamy wonder of the first time. But guess what? The dreaminess is still there - and it was even gross outside.

When we first arrived, it was too busy, but there was a decent crown inside and outside. As the night went on, it filled right up. Our server was very friendly and attentive the entire night - thanks Brooke - and we got to try quite a few of the yummy specialty cocktails on the menu. A few too many, some might say from looking at our pictures from the rest of the night...

We also had these mini Chicken Parmesan sliders, mmm, mmm good. Quite a few of the items on the menu sounded good (perhaps a little more adventurous than I'm used to) and I had my eye on everything other servers were walking by; however, we'd eaten a late lunch, so we didn't get anything else. In general, I love the small plate concept because I can never make up my mind. I'm the one who is always bugging you to order something I like so I can share. I also loved the way they displayed their menus on the tables. We've been trying to think of something interesting to do on our tables for the wedding even though we're not doing assigned seating and seeing their little brushed chrome menu holders made me want to put a quiz or thank yous or something in there for our big day.

Afterward, we wandered to the Bean and took some goofy pics - but also a really neat one of Adam and I kissing in front of it with the city mirrored in the background. Thanks Janell, couldn't have paid for a better pic!

The rest of the weekend though, not so productive. Well, wait a second, I take that back! On Saturday afternoon, we had our first meeting with our D.J. and all 3 of us loved her. Meeting her put me at ease over worrying whether people would dance and have a blast or not. I get the feeling that Tevis (from Toast & Jam) won't let that happen. She made me think a lot about all of the things I still haven't thought through yet, but it was good to get the juices flowing!

Janell gets here today!

Yay! My maid of honor will be here this weekend and I'm so excited! Mostly to show someone else the Roof at The Wit, but also because it will make having picked "my colors" official if we can find her an awesome dress! Speaking of dresses, this will be the first time that I'll be able to actually try on my dress from preownedweddingdresses.com - it's a lace up back, so I think Janell will have to put her back into it and tie me up tight. We're also meeting with our D.J. and florist, so it's official - we're doing this thing!

Lots of exclamation points there, perhaps it's because stepping on the scale today showed some good results! It's so weird that I've known for awhile that we'd be getting married this year, but nothing seemed to motivate me to actually pay attention to my weight. Ever since the "Great Reset" - I'm all about veggies and cut out the Diet soda too. Yesterday, I even THOUGHT about going to the gym! Baby steps...

I Suppose I Should Come Up With Something To Say

I could go on and on about The Wit Hotel, or the way I can tell in my voice and pep in my step how much more excited I am about our reception (and others, who don't even know about the change can tell too). I'm going again this weekend with my MOH when she flies in from LA and then very likely again when my future mother-in-law and sister-in-law are in town for our shower.  It's one of those things I don't think I could get sick of. Like my fiance, or Taco Bell, or this version of Can't Help Falling In Love. But I have a voice beyond that, I'm forming opinions about this process that I'd love to share with others, especially Chicago brides, to either get advice, give advice - or better yet make some changes to the way this planning process works. So, if I want that voice to be heard, to become a part of a community that excitedly welcomes new members, I need to make people want to listen.

I'm surprised at how hard it is to find REAL pics of REAL girls in REAL dresses. No more of this waif chick in some sort of weird sucking-in-shrugging-with-your-hands-on-your-hips position! Show me someone who looks like they'd actually fit in the sample size (or, gasp, something BIGGER, like me)! Maybe that'll be my new hobby,  finding pics of girls of all sizes in all types of dresses dancing with their fathers or new spouses or walking down that aisle. In real settings, in real lighting, the real moments that make every bride, and her dress, so beautiful. 

Maybe I'm fixated on this because I'll probably end up wearing a used dress at my wedding, or maybe because I'm bigger than the sample size. Seeing the photo on the model or hanging from a closet door isn't really doing me much good. And I'm too darn busy during the hours that salons are open to go in and try on a boatload of dresses (that wouldn't come close to zipping up anyway). Every time I google a question about wedding etiquette or ideas, etc., I come up with a million forums or blogs of brides sharing tips about almost every aspect of their wedding, but when it comes to dresses, I don't find that many real pics or real reviews of the dresses fit, feel, flow, etc. Perhaps it's because it's such a special thing for a bride to have a unique dress, so whereas you're happy to share a cute DIY cupcake tower you made with the world, you want the dress to be sacred. 

So many people crop their photos (or put creepy white boxes where their faces should be) on used dress sites. Are they embarrassed to be selling their dress? Worried someone they know might see them? Both viable options, I suppose. But hey, I'm the poor sap shopping for a used dress - at least you had the money to pay full price for it new! For so many of us, we want to share everything we love about our weddings from the rooftop in order to help others, and in most cases, I've found that we're not too shy to be pretty darn proud of these things when we're discussing with people. I say, let's extend that pride to our dresses and share the info. The same way you would about a Restaurant on Yelp. The people want to know how awesome your dress was - and maybe even why sometimes it wasn't that great.

Shouldn't I Be Asleep?

The hard part is done, isn't it? I should be dreaming sweet dreams of not having to limit our guest list so dramatically, or, gasp, just getting some rest for once and not being stressed out. But alas, now it feels real, and I feel behind. My goal is to catch up on the planning this weekend when Janell is here, but since the current plan is for her to take the train from Midway, get off at Lake Street and join me for drinks on the roof of the new venue, I have a feeling Saturday morning isn't going to be an early one.

Not to mention, that the list of things to do with Janell is actually comprised of things I WANT to do, not necessarily need to do. I can't tell you how excited I am to actually go into the stores on Division and up Damen and actually have good intentions of buying something! Through Janell's tall, perfect body, I plan to live vicariously as she tries on every possible frock at Le Dress and Intermix (probably before heading to Nordstrom and finding something affordable).

For me, wedding dress shopping was not as enjoyable as it should have (or even could have) been. For one, I waited too long. So each store I went into, the women had more and more dramatic looks on their faces as they parroted back to me with shock, awe and disgust, "August? Of THIS year?" Yeah, yeah, yeah, ever heard of a rush fee? Just bring me some dresses. Or do you really not want my money? Some places, they actually said no, they didn't want my money because there was no way they could get a dress in 4 months. Secondarily, for someone who knew engagement was impending for a few months, you'd think I could have made just the slightest effort to go to the gym, even WALK BY the gym? But no, instead, I fill my time seeing how fast Jimmy John's can get to my house or unable to decide which lunch option I should choose and ending up with both.

So, after one semi-successful day trying on all sorts of wedding dresses at All About the Dress (owned by an old friend from my restaurant days who admitted my timing would be tough, but who I trusted implicitly that we'd pull it off), I came to the conclusion that a lace up back was the way to go to really strap me in there and pull off a waist. Unable to settle on exactly which one, I, of course, procrastinated beyond the point of being able to get it in time. Luckily, I was not AT ALL opposed to buying a pre-owned dress and spent plenty of hours scouring www.encorebridal.com, www.preownedweddingdresses.com, www.oncewed.com for styles I liked. It's amazing how many dresses are out there for sale - and some are an amazing deal. On the flipside though, I'm also amazed at how many dresses there are that have been worn and are still on the market for over $3000!

Other than the fact that I actually found a pre-owned, but never worn (2 dress bride) gown that I now have in my hot little hands, I did get a kick out of a few other things about searching for a dress this way.

1. People say things like "only worn once." I do realize that they could be trying to differentiate from that gown that has been passed around to 3 sisters or something, but the idea that a dress basically invented to only be worn once should be considered as valuable as it was when the bride bought it the first time because she happened to only have worn it on one 8-10 hour day where she ate, drank, sweat, danced and dragged it all over the floor amuses me.
2. As a selling point, these girl's mention, "Everyone told me it was the most gorgeous gown they've ever seen." Hmmmm, I'm sure your dress is fabulously beautiful to you and to your family and maybe even to some other folks. And I'm sure you looked close to the most beautiful you may ever look in your life (hopefully because you were glowing with happiness), but ladies... does becoming a bride actually make you impervious to the fact that people are going to be polite and compliment you on an item that you hand selected for this special event, perhaps at the expense of 100% honesty? Have you EVER told someone their dress was pretty, when it just wasn't? Or that the chicken with white sauce you tried to eat, but realized your efforts were better focused on the table wine, was the best meal you've ever had? I'm not saying it's wrong to make those statements OR, really that it's wrong to believe them if it makes you feel better. I just don't think that it serves as the most valid testimonial when trying to sell me a $2000 dress that has "some light staining in the armpit area and a few missing buttons."

Anyway, the point of this post wasn't to bash on other happy brides trying to unload their poofy dresses. It was to comment on the fact that as soon as we decided to change venues from Mrs. Murphy & Sons Irish Bistro to The Wit Hotel, the ONE thing I'd actually checked off my list on time (getting a dress) is now up in the air because now that I have the perfect venue, settling for something 50% off that fit? Well, it just won't do.

Nothing against Maggie Sottero, I love the way my under-exercised body looks in the dress hanging from my closet door, but doesn't anyone want to sell one of these tea-length wedding dresses? I KNOW I can't afford a new one, but I'm in the mood for somebody's sloppy seconds when it comes to Stephanie James' dresses.